Not Safe For Work

Not Safe For Work


lunedì 27 novembre 2017

No more playing with yourself

#ropework #rigging #ropes #bondage #tiedupboy #malebondage #bdsmlifestyle #bdsm #slave #domination #submissive #followme #dominagoldy #bdsmcommunity #bdsmslave #domina

The wild and kinky world of BDSM - Part 1

You might be familiar with BDSM through the book and movie series Fifty Shades of Grey. The franchise features college graduate Anastasia Steele engaging in a BDSM relationship with businessman Christian Grey. Fifty Shades of Grey opened up a wide range of BDSM fetishism–such as rope play, light bondage, and whipping–to new fans, many of which were straight women in their 30s through 50s. But the series has major problems, often depicting emotional abuse as BDSM and showing a fantastical version of kink that disregards Anastasia’s safety and consent.

The real world of kink is consensual, safe, and responsible. It cares for both partners’ physical well-being and creates clear boundaries between the real world and play time. It’s a space where women can spank each other and cuddle afterward, or men can dominate women and take a bath together once their play scene is all done. And that makes BDSM one of the sexiest ways lovers can come together and embrace each others’ bodies.

If you’re still wondering what is BDSM, what it stands for, or how to get started, here’s everything you need to know.
What does BDSM stand for?

Bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Those three phrases make up the term “BDSM,” an umbrella of sexual activities involving consensual power plays between two or more partners.

What is BDSM?
Over the years, kink and sex educators have come up with a few definitions for BDSM. In The New Topping Book, co-author Janet W. Hardy describes BDSM as “an activity in which the participants eroticize sensations or emotions that would be unpleasant in a non-erotic context.”

Hardy stresses that BDSM is both erotic and consensual: Pain becomes pleasure during BDSM. What’s going on may seem non-consensual without context, but both partners are engaging in play that they’re enjoying—no matter how humiliating it may seem from the outside.

Meanwhile, Psychology Today‘s Michael Castleman stresses that BDSM is about trust and affection. “Many people consider BDSM perverted, dehumanizing, or worse. But aficionados call it the most loving, nurturing, intimate form of human contact and play,” he writes. “In BDSM, the players always arrange things in advance with clear, intimate communication, which creates a special erotic bond.”

BDSM is ultimately about two or more people trusting and caring for one another via erotic power plays. That’s why BDSM is so attractive: All the pain, degradation, and humiliation in BDSM is done in a way that breeds intimacy between players.
BDSM is a range of practices

Generally speaking, most forms of BDSM have two roles: a dominant (or dom) and a submissive (or sub). The dominant holds power and responsibility over a submissive. They may ask for demands, like a foot massage, or proceed to spank and tie up their sub. Meanwhile, the sub receives the dom’s pain and pleasure. They’re the ones getting whipped, beaten, and forced into those foot massages. And they secretly (or perhaps not-so-secretly) enjoy it.

There’s a variety of terms to describe the dom/sub relationship, and every community has its own words. Dominant women are often described as a “domme,” “dominatrix,” or “femdom.” Queer kink communities use “top” and “bottom” in reference to the dom and sub, adhering to age-old roles from the gay, lesbian, and transgender communities. Specific fetishes have terms to describe the dominant and submissive relationship as well. In age play, the dominant is often referred to as a “daddy dom” or “mommy domme,” and the submissive is called the “little.”

There’s also a wide variety of kinks and techniques that fall into bondage and discipline play, and they can often be found throughout dom and sub relationships. There’s rope play, which involves a dom restraining a sub with rope. There’s also whipping and spanking, which is relatively self-explanatory: A dom hits a sub for erotic pleasure. There are kinks such as edging, where a dominant brings a submissive onto the precipice of an orgasm and refuses release. And there’s forced orgasms, where a dominant makes a submissive orgasm against their will.

Any and all of these forms of play are considered BDSM. Not every BDSM practitioner will play around with them, of course. But they’re important parts of the BDSM umbrella, which goes to show just how diverse play can be.

BDSM is always consensual.

Photo via Hendrik Wieduwilt/Flickr (CC-BY)
There’s one core fact to remember about BDSM: It’s all consensual.

Dominant and submissive relationships happen inside something called a play scene or play space, where two or more play partners get together to enact scenes. Like role play, players discuss the scene ahead of time and go through options that a dominant can engage in as well as ones they want to avoid.

It is understood that both the dom and the sub must adhere to those boundaries. Doms can be bossy, domineering, and powerful, but if a sub doesn’t want to be spanked, then spanking is off the table. Likewise, if a dom does not want to have any form of genital contact during play, then it’s the sub’s job to honor that boundary. This is the difference between BDSM and sexual assault. A sub who wants to be spanked and groped in a scene is engaging in consensual BDSM play. A sub that does not want to be spanked should not be spanked because that’s a violent crime.

BDSM’s fun comes from the fact that there are boundaries. At any time, a play partner can say a safe word and stop play, fix a problem, or talk about why a situation violated their consent. There’s nothing hotter than getting whipped, spanked, and degraded by your lover when you want it more than anything in the world.

Play takes skill

Photo via Quinn Dombrowski (CC-BY-SA)
Like most things sex-related, it takes time and practice to learn how to sub or dom. In Autostraddle’s article on tying up other people, Carolyn Yates points out a wide range of safety tips that doms need to keep in mind to tie up their subs. And as it turns out, there’s a lot to know when restraining your lover.

“Keep the rope loose enough that you can work two fingers between the rope and your activity partner’s skin,” Yates says. “The goal is to restrain, not to cut off circulation. If the rope might get wet (it’s really hot and you’re both sweating, for example), leave it even looser.”

Rope-tying is one of many BDSM activities that requires a lot of knowledge and reading before acting out. That’s because rope play flirts with risk. Without leaving two fingers’ width between the rope and the partner’s body, rope can cut off circulation, which can lead to nerve damage in serious cases. For new play partners who have very little experience with rope-tying, risk increases. And sloppy tying can lead to a higher chance of a sub getting hurt.

Rope-tying isn’t the only thing that budding doms and subs have to learn. They have to prepare for emergencies, like a sub shrinking too far into themselves to communicate, or a dom feeling overwhelmed by a scene and needing to stop.

If it takes more than a few play sessions for things to really click between you and your partner, that’s pretty normal. Just remember to do your research before jumping in, and never try anything new without studying it, practicing it, and creating a backup plan if something goes wrong.

sabato 25 novembre 2017

A beautiful sissy

Questo è il mio ideale di femminilizzazione.
E' questo quello a cui dovrebbero puntare coloro che mi chiedono di essere femminilizzati.

Random thoughts

Io non odio il fetish.
Mi piace farmi adorare i piedi, ma in un contesto di sottomissione completo e non allo scopo di soddisfare i desideri di un feticista che mi vede come un paio di piedi e non una Donna completa da servire e soddisfare.

I do not hate the fetish.
I like who worship my feet, but in a context of complete submission and not in order to satisfy the wishes of a fetishist who sees me like a pair of feet and not a complete woman to serve and to satisfy.

#ropework #rigging #ropes #bondage #tiedupboy #malebondage #bdsmlifestyle #bdsm #slave #domination #submissive #followme #dominagoldy #bdsmcommunity #bdsmslave #domina

venerdì 24 novembre 2017


Bdsm stuff... Have fun! #dominagoldy #domina #flogger #plug #gaggedmouth #gagged #bdsmcommunity #bdsm #bdsmaccount #bdsmaccessory #playtime


Lo schiavo ama esibirsi.
Ma lo fa come gesto esclusivo per lei.
È un dono di sua spontanea volontà, oppure può essere l'ubbidienza a un ordine, perché lui con il tempo impara quasi ad anticipare le richieste e i desideri della Padrona. 
Ma quando arriva una richiesta esplicita, lui semplicemente ubbidisce e soddisfa le sue richieste.


by sissy wan

mercoledì 22 novembre 2017

Rotella di Wartenberg #bdsmlifestyle #bdsm #slave #domination #submissive #dominagoldy #bdsmcommunity #dominatrix #mistress #playtime #dominant #bdsmlife #submission #pain #bdsmslave #domina

Someone will have fun today!

The problem with chastity belts

Purchasing a chastity belt seems like an easy task. Google the phrase and you’re likely to be hit first with the CBX000s series. If you’re not familiar with them, they’re plastic devices (not a belt, in my opinion) that are inexpensive and popular. The problem: they don’t work and are painful for most to wear. I will give the CB-line one word of praise. They brought the chastity fetish to pop culture and many men were able to explore their chastity fetishes for the first time.

You’re probably sensing a “but” coming.

Here’s the thing. Every man searching for a chastity belt desires four things: security, discretion, comfort, and hygiene. I’ve put those attributes in order by their typical ranking of importance. If a chastity belt or device can be compromised, it’s useless. If you plan on wearing it out of your house and everyone at work notices you have an enormous bulge in your pants (I’ll skip the jokes), it’s impractical. If you wake up to stabbing pains in your groin each night or the belt chafes against your skin, long-term wear isn’t suitable. And if you have to remove the device each time you clean yourself, distance play isn’t feasible, or at the very least, made onerous.

You get the idea.

Every chastity fetishist searches the dark crannies of the web for that illustrious belt meeting all demands. Many manufacturers claim to sell it. The simple answer is that no such device or belt exists.

Two basic designs are available in chastity’s cottage industry: devices and belts. Chastity devices take advantage of the “trapped ball” design—a tube slides over the penis and a ring is fitted around the balls, preventing them from being pulled through. A pin, containing a hasp that a lock goes through, holds both pieces together. There are endless varieties. Some of these devices are one piece, others come out of the box mimicking an Erecter Set. All of them work by ensuring the device can’t be removed from the body.

Sounds great, right?

Not exactly.

Slipping the penis out of the tube is easy. I’ve seen design after design try to overcome this flaw. Add-ons, such as blunted or not-so blunted points, have been inserted into the tube to make pulling out painful. Tubes have been slanted downward to prevent the same escape. While I applaud this ingenuity, they fail in their intent. It’s not the manufacturer’s fault. The penis is simply the worst appendage of the body to try to restrict. It grows and shrinks and can be bent into every shape and direction. Add a little soap and water, and it can beat the most devious of devices. Evolution probably selected these traits since they protect the penis, but that’s a topic for another post.


Chastity belts are a little better. Neosteel and Latowski, both German manufactures, make very high-tech belts. They’re stunning to look at. These seem to be the unicorns of chastity belts. (If you know of any better manufacturer, let me know.) Yet, measuring for these devices can be tricky at best, and when you’re spending over a grand for a piece of BDSM equipment, you want to make sure you get it right. Last time I inquired, Latowski requires in-person measurements. Probably a good thing, but unless you’ve got the time and money to fly to Germany, you’re forced to take the measuring gamble.

For the sake of argument, let’s assume you can measure perfectly. In that case, they are very secure, comfortable, hygienic, and with the right clothing, discreet. However, men still report being able to ejaculate by shifting the belt or applying a vibrator against the tube.

And that brings me to the point of this post.

Where there’s a will there’s a way. The old adage is strikingly poignant for chastity belt enthusiasts. In the end, the chastised sub can always cheat. To prevent this, some subs have gone so far as to employee piercings on the head of their penis (called a Prince Albert) that is then attached to the belt via a cord to make pull out impossible without bodily injury. Lori’s Secure Chastity Devices makes great use of a variety of genital piercings in their devices. Other dommes have attached electronic gizmos to belts to alert when there’s been tampering.

Yet, if the male really wants to, he can cheat. He can use of vibrator, grab a hacksaw, or just use plan old resourcefulness.

So does that mean I think chastity devices are a scam and have no use in power exchange? Absolutely not. Just as a skillfully-wielded rattan cane reminds a sub of his place, so can a chastity device. When he feels the urge to pleasure himself, a chastity device around his member reminds him of whom he’s sacrificing for and why.

But I do think when dommes and subs decide to purchase a chastity device, they must do so with realistic expectations. If a $1,500 device touches a man’s submissive soul in a way a $100 device can’t, then by all means pick one up if you’ve got the means. However, if a sub can’t keep from cheating with a cheaper device, a more expensive belt won’t solve the issue. Submission can’t be bought or beaten into a piece of hardware. The real restraint and control a domme exerts exists between the submissive’s ears. That’s why power exchange is so sexy. BDSM enthusiasts know that power exchange is mental sex. Some might go so far as to call it spiritual sex. All those surly implements and foreboding devices are tools to provoke submission. Chastity devices and belts have to be viewed in the same manner. As tools. No piece of hardware will ever substitute an earnest desire to follow a domme’s commands and chastity devices are no exception.

For more information on chastity devices and play, along with honest reviews, I highly recommend And please let me know of your own experiences with chastity devices in the comment section!

#bdsmlifestyle #bdsm #slave #domination #submissive #followme #dominagoldy #bdsmcommunity #mistress #dominant #bdsmlife #submission #bdsmslave #domina #kinky #slave #bdsmplay #sub #submissive

martedì 21 novembre 2017

You slut!

#dominagoldy #followme #verità

Mine. #bdsmcommunity #bdsmlove #bdsm #bdsmaccount #bdsmslave #domina #dominagoldy #domination #worship #submission #submissive #onyourknees

La chiave del potere - The key to power

#mistress #pegging #slave #dominatrix #ladyboy #feminization #sissy #crossdresser #bdsmlifestyle #tranny #sissyboy #xdresser #dildo #xdresser #maninhighheels #femboi #plug #femboys #buttplugged #kink #maleslave #malesub #dominagoldy #bdsm #bdsmaccount

So beautiful...

lunedì 20 novembre 2017

Be keyholder or not?

1st day of chastity for Luca

Oggi 1° giorno di castità per Luca in preparazione del mese di Dicembre e come prova personale nei miei confronti.

Le fantasie sessuali delle donne che tengono nascoste

Il sesso è una componente fondamentale nel rapporto di coppia. Ma lo sono anche la fantasia e l’immaginazione, spesso però trascurati. Eppure si tratta di due lati che possono risultare assai vantaggiosi per una vita sessuale felice. In particolare le fantasie femminili rappresentano una sorta di tabù, di cui si sa e si parla poco, secondo molte persone. Alcune di esse vengono considerate poco consoni da essere condivise. E allora vi diciamo noi quali sono le 10 ‘perversioni’ più gettonate tra le donne che probabilmente loro stesse non ammetteranno mai di voler provare (o di averlo già fatto!).

1. Essere dominati
La dominazione è altamente eccitante per molte donne. Ma come molte fantasie, questo non è necessariamente un riflesso di ciò che invece desiderano nella vita reale. Secondo lo psicologo Jo Hemmings, “non ci dovrebbe essere confusione sui ruoli che svolgiamo nella nostra vita quotidiana. Essere dominati rappresenta un rilascio dello stress, la rinuncia al potere, e per questo piace”.

2. Prendere il controllo
Fa da contraltare l’esatto contrario: si tratta di una delle fantasie più comuni, e si può essere sia dominato che dominatore. Nel gergo BDSM e sadomaso questa ‘bipolarità’ viene chiamata ‘switch’, ed è atta a dimostrare che non ci sono regole complicate per le nostre immaginazioni sessuali. Si può essere tutto ed il contrario di tutto.

3. Sesso con uno sconosciuto
Il sesso con un estraneo totale è rischioso, audace e emozionante. Nella realtà però questo proposito può comportare diverse insidie. Ma a pensare una cosa del genere invece non si rischia nulla.

4. Lo scambio di denaro
Che si tratti di una stanza piena di uomini che mettono banconote di grosso taglio nel tuo perizoma o vera e propria compravendita di soldi in cambio del proprio corpo, quando c’è il denaro di mezzo si finisce col diventare un oggetto sessuale. Rebecca Dakin, autrice di ‘101 Sex Tips’, una guida al piacere dell’uomo spiega: “Pagare per fare sesso denota sia dominanza che sottomissione (i punti 1 e 2) e quindi può essere assai intrigante per molte persone. Inoltre il fatto che sia qualcosa di proibito dalla legge lo rende ancora più eccitante…”.

5. Sesso con qualcuno che non dovresti
Mentre la maggior parte delle donne segue un codice comportamentale impeccabile e ci tiene alla propria immagine di ragazza perbene, altre non si fanno problemi ad andare a letto col fidanzato della loro migliore amica. Anche questa è una fantasia comune, con il 65% delle donne votate ad ammettere di averla almeno sognata. Basta non dirlo al tuo compagno o alla tua amica…

6. Sognare di andare a letto con qualcuno di potente
Chi non ha avuto delle fantasie sul proprio insegnante o la propria professoressa al liceo? Questo spiega tutto.

7. Giochi di ruolo
“Non bacerò il mio insegnante, non bacerò il mio insegnante, non bacerò il mio insegnante…”.

8. Sesso con una donna
Questo non vuol dire necessariamente provare attrazione per persone del proprio sesso. Vuol dire semmai apprezzare la buona compagnia, ed addirittura il 42% delle donne lo elenca come una delle loro fantasie più frequenti, secondo il ‘Journal of Sexual Medicine’.
Jo Hemmings aggiunge: “Alcuni tipi di abitudini sessuali alimentano la nostra curiosità. E questo è uno di quei casi”.

9. Sesso di gruppo
Nonostante le feste per soli adulti siano sempre più popolari, molte persone non hanno mai l’opportunità di provare questa fantasia nella vita reale e continuano a godere dell’esperienza nella loro immaginazione. E, secondo Rebecca Dakin, “la fantasia sessuale di gruppo è particolarmente comune tra le donne che non hanno avuto molti partner sessuali e/o che sono state impegnate in rapporti a lungo termine”.

10. Guardare e farsi guardare
L’adrenalina che viene dalla paura di essere catturati mentre si spia qualcuno nel suo intimo rappresenta una emozione non da poco. Ed allo stesso modo, l’idea di esibirsi in un luogo pubblico con il rischio di essere ‘beccati’ può anche essere esilarante, per certi versi. Anche qui, come in tutto ciò che avete appena letto, sognare è lecito…

On your knees slave and worship me... #bdsmlifestyle #bdsm #slave #domination #submissive #followme #spanking #dominagoldy #bdsmcommunity #dominatrix #mistress #dominant #sub #gagged #bdsmlife #submission #bdsmslave #worship #domina #whip #leather #collar #kinky

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