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lunedì 19 novembre 2018

Parola di dottore: il BDSM ti fa bene

Il tizio nella foto è il dott. Andreas Wismeijer, ed è il nuovo eroe degli appassionati di fruste e bondage di tutto il mondo. L’ultimo studio di questo ricercatore olandese, intitolato Caratteristiche psicologiche dei praticanti di BDSM, è stato pubblicato sul numero di maggio di Journal of sexual medicine e dice sostanzialmente che… fare certi giochi fa molto bene alla salute. Sarà quindi il caso di capirne di più.

La ricerca si basa su un sondaggio eseguito su 1.336 partecipanti che hanno compilato quattro lunghi questionari psicologici standard centrati su personalita, sensibilità a essere rifiutati, attaccamento relazionale e benessere generale. Secondo una pratica comune in questo tipo di studi nessuno era stato informato di quale fosse il vero oggetto della ricerca: era stato detto solo che si trattasse di qualcosa sul “comportamento umano”.
Benché l’attenzione fosse concentrata su 902 persone reclutate attraverso il più grande sito BDSM dei Paesi Bassi, 434 altre persone sono servete da gruppi di controllo provenienti da tre altri siti di tutt’altro genere: una rivista femminile, un’università e un sito sui segreti personali. Il loro ruolo è stato definire un livello di riferimento col quale confrontare i risultati di chi praticava giochi erotici di dominazione.

Vale la pena ricordare che non si è trattato della prima ricerca sugli amanti del BDSM. Negli ultimi quindici anni ci sono stati diversi altri studi, ma di solito erano stati condotti su gruppi molto piccoli, o si concentravano su situazioni particolarmente estreme (es. la disponibilità a denunciare stupri). Le pubblicazioni precedenti ci avevano comunque detto, riassumendo, che esclusi i sadomasochisti patologici coloro che praticano BDSM sano, sicuro e consensuale corrispondono a un campione trasversale della società, e non mostrano particolari differenze da chi preferisce forme di sessualità più tradizionale. In effetti una ricerca del 2008 di Richters et al. era arrivata a dichiarare addirittura che i praticanti maschi – ma non le femmine! – avevano «probabilità considerevolmente minori di mostrare disturbi psicologici rispetto alla popolazione generale».

Quel che ha scoperto Wismeijer è che chi pratica BDSM conduce nel complesso una vita felice. I dominanti hanno punteggi un po’ migliori dei sottomessi, ma entrambi se la cavano bene almeno quanto i tre gruppi “vanilla”, se non di più. Ancora più interessante è tuttavia il fatto che i primi appaiono sempre più estroversi e coscienziosi della media; mostrano livelli più elevati di benessere, rapporti più solidi con i partner e una migliore salute psicologica generale. I punteggi bassi? Per trovare quelli bisogna consultare le colonne ‘ansietà’ e ‘paura delle critiche’.
Non tutti sono stati disponibili ad accettare risultati tanto inaspettati. Le critiche hanno sottolineato che cercando i propri soggetti fra coloro che vivono la propria passione così bene da partecipare a una comunità online e sono così estroversi da compilare sondaggi tanto approfonditi è naturale ritrovarsi con un campione ideale – e pertanto di poco valore. Io aggiungerei anche che l’Olanda è uno dei paesi più socialmente avanzati, con eccellenti livelli di educazione sessuale e una antica cultura di accettazione delle diversità. Suppongo che condurre la stessa ricerca in nazioni differenti potrebbe produrre risultati abbastanza diversi a causa della riprovazione sociale e internalizzata che vi si trovi ad affrontare chi è interessato al BDSM.

In ogni caso è difficile dissentire dalle osservazioni finali di Wismeijer. «Chi pratica BDSM tende a essere più consapevole dei propri bisogni e desideri sessuali rispetto alla popolazione vanilla» dice «è ciò potrebbe tradursi in minore frustrazione sessuale e relazionale. Venire a patti con predilezioni sessuali insolite e scegliere uno stile di vita di dominazione-sottomissione può inoltre richiedere un intenso lavoro introspettivo che porta a una migliore salute mentale».
Il ricercatore ha perfino dichiarato di non approvare che il BDSM sia ancora incluso nelManuale diagnostico e statistico usato da psichiatri e psicologi per diagnosticare i pazienti – anche se nell’ultima edizione è stato appena declassato da disturbo a semplice parafilia, cioè eccitazione per stimoli insoliti. Se volete scoprirne di più e farvi un’opinione sulla questione, vi consiglio di dare un’occhiata al mio ebook gratuito Nessuna sfumatura di grigio, oppure leggere il saggio assai più approfondito BDSM – Guida per esploratori dell’erotismo estremo.

https://www.ayzad.com/it/notizie/parafilie/bdsm_/parola-di-dottore-il-bdsm-ti-fa-bene/?fbclid=IwAR2HGaX-OgX1_jbIKLydhvtTOWiReva1ejNDnnJ9OfEcQHZovCMly_sqS18

venerdì 16 novembre 2018

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giovedì 15 novembre 2018



Servire la Signora...

Molti servitori verrebbero arrivare a servire la Divina Signora proprio nei suoi momenti più intimi, ma questo è un privilegio molto alto che deve essere conquistato lavorando duramente ed acquistando fiducia agli occhi della Signora.


mercoledì 14 novembre 2018



How to get your Sub in subspace, a guide for beginners

Although everyone into the BDSM scene has heard of endorphins, actually very, very few people really understand what they are, how they work, what the “high” is all about and how one can correctly induce the body to produce them. This short primer will answer those questions, and serve as a guide for anyone topping another so that they may successfully send their bottom into a very deep endorphin stupor! (Also known as leaving them in a big puddle of quivering ecstasy!)



The endorphin high is caused by a bunch of natural, morphine-like chemicals the body pumps into your brain to reduce your sensitivity to pain (thus raising your pain threshold.) The fact that the body seems to release these endorphins in measured ‘loads’ is a key to understanding how to ‘play’ the body to produce these 'loads’ and 'release’ them into the body and brain region when the 'load’ is ready. One has to keep in mind that another chemical – adrenalin – is also produced by the body in reaction to pain, and its behavior should be understood also. This is covered later more thoroughly in the section at the end on aftercare – which is a VERY essential element in guaranteeing the success of the effort, as you will see.

The endorphin 'loads’ as they are available in the body are released in their entirety, and after a 'load’ is released, it takes the body about ten minutes to generate the chemicals for another one. After the body has been induced to release (or 'inject’) a 'load’ into the system, you must then continue stimulating the body for at least ten minutes in some manner before the body will be ready to release another one. This stimulation can be just about anything – sensation play, light paddling or flogging, light caning, etc. – and it does not have to be intense or even nearly match the intensity of stimulation that had caused the release of the last 'load.’

Once prepared, an increase in stimulation over a five minute span up to a measured 'climax’ will trigger the body to release the freshly prepared 'load’ (based upon the submissive’s current pain threshold, “measured” to push them over a new edge.)


So, armed with this information, what does a session look like from the top’s and bottom’s point of view? This should break it down for you.

When a scene first starts, there are no endorphins in the submissive, and even fairly light torment is very stingy, ouchy, and, well, painful! There is an endorphin reserve already in place that is awaiting release into one’s body in case of an emergency, and after just a few minutes of even relatively mild stimulation building to a mild climax, this reserve 'load’ is released, and suddenly the pain threshold clearly rises and the subject can easily tolerate what earlier may have been pushing their limits, making them jump around and squirm, for instance.
 

This new, more pain tolerant state is Level One. There is no altered state of consciousness yet – but there is an increased pain threshold.

Once this has happened, for the top it’s basically just about treading water for ten minutes and doing anything that provides relatively light but constant stimulation to induce the bottom’s body to prepare/create their next 'load’ for release. This is a good time for sensation play, or light paddling, flogging or whipping – and since the only requirement is that it remain fairly constant stimulation, it is a chance for the top to relax for a bit, since the stimulation can be very mild and be easy and relaxing to apply during this time.



Once the ten minutes has passed, a build in intensity over a subsequent five minute period will excite the body to a peak, and a sudden 10–15 seconds or so of intense stimulation just beyond the person’s current pain threshold limit will trigger the body to eject its freshly made, current load into the bloodstream. Now the bottom will be at Level Two – with still no perceivable altered state of consciousness (beyond panting in relief that you, the top, have ceased with the intense bit!), but there is a considerable and noticeable leap in pain threshold now.

Following this, again, ten minutes of mild, easy stimulation to provoke the body into generating the next load as quickly as possible. Keep this well below the pain threshold you’ve now created, with just a little intense whack, etc. every so often, about a minute apart. This will keep the adrenalin build up to a minimum, for reasons explained later on. Take it easy, tops, relax, rest that arm and wrist a bit! Then, this relaxing ten minutes is followed with five minutes of building the intensity again to well above the previous level, as the bottom’s pain threshold is pretty high already now and they can take a lot more before the body interprets this as being 'in crisis’ and thus triggers the endorphins’ release. Finished off with 10–15 seconds (up to a minute) of a real intense, over the edge push, and the body will inject that next load.

Now at Level Three, the bottom will definitely feel a little bit 'woozy’ — exhibiting a “mildly drugged” state. Their eyelids should become heavier seeming, and they will fall into a more relaxed condition than before, with more low moans and groans, and with their inhibitions becoming more relaxed. Again, applying ten minutes of any relatively mild stimulation (don’t have to work hard, tops!), followed by a five minute build to a 10–15 second intense climax now that is WELL beyond the previous one, will result in the next endorphin “load” being released to push the bottom into a very nice Level Four head space.



At this Level Four state, there will be a very definite altered state of consciousness in evidence, and the bottom will feel clearly drugged and will be very compliant and submissive now. This is countered, however, by the largest charges of adrenalin they have received so far (from the intense climax just used to push them over this “edge”), so they are still quite communicative and their reaction time is still quick (even hypersensitive – a small whack with a paddle, cane or whip can now generate a huge amount of twitching or jerking of the subject’s body with certain bottoms.) Now, during the ten minute 'treading water’ period for the top, the moans and groans will be longer and deeper, the body often limp in it’s restraints, and the reactions to the occasional harder 'strikes’ will be obvious and even somewhat amplified. This is the tops finest time – they can still relax and obviously not be exerting themselves very hard, yet produce fine moans of ecstasy from their bottom with hardly any provocation! The pain threshold is high, even if the reaction time is increased due to the adrenalin, so harder occasional strikes are welcomed, and the reactions are certainly encouraging!

After this ten minute “endorphin replenishment” period, now it is important to be very sensitive to the limit levels crossed earlier, as you begin that five minute build in intensity that will end in the most intense limit pushing you might do with the bottom for this session (if you are stopping at level five). The bottom will have a very high pain threshold at this time, but also will be fairly groggy (in spite of the adrenalin-fueled reaction times) and less able to communicate their safe word – in fact, will now be so compliant that it is very UNLIKELY that they would use it even if they should do so! So, push this “grand finale” with finesse and sensitivity to what is going on with your bottom! At the other end of the 10–30 second climactic build in intensity – in a wonderful blast – this latest endorphin load will push the bottom into Level Five: a state of supreme ecstasy, docility, and the ability to take just about anything you could throw at them. They will become very limp and relaxed very suddenly – and be very clearly in an altered state of consciousness now.

This is the point most people end the scene and remove the bottom to cloak them in a blanket and begin the all-important aftercare … and unless you know your bottom extremely well, this is where the session should end. However, for those in that category of knowing their bottom’s limits and abilities quite well, the rules and timing are the same as with the earlier segments. Now, your 'mild’ stimulation could be fairly intense if you wanted it to be, and the bottom will become extremely submissive – and receptive – and accepting of any amount of stimulation you could lay on them. This is a dangerous condition, because there is NO WAY a person will utter a safe word in this condition – they can barely talk at all! So, it is best to keep the stimulation relatively intense but not too too (Note: the stronger intensity applied now will hold up the adrenalin levels, and the combination with the elevated endorphins levels creates a condition of intense excitement and of simultaneously intense ecstatic relaxation for the bottom, so they’ll be into receiving whatever is being doled out. More on adrenalin in a minute, though!) Again, finish off after the ten minutes with a building in intensity to one beyond that reached earlier, with a 10–15 second extreme point, and the next 'load’ will be released. So, now we have brought the bottom to a very amazing Level Six! (But, again, this should only be attempted with a bottom whose limits and abilities are already very well known! The top is working without the benefit of safe words being utterable, in most cases by this time, so care must be exercised this whole while.)

With all the adrenalin now in the body – as well as the complete release of inhibitions from the heavy dosing of endorphins now in their brain – behavior of the bottom can become unpredictable at this point, and you should be prepared to restrain against some wild thrashing and arm flailing that could take place (at least be out of harm’s way!) The person/bottom is going to be in such an intensely altered state of consciousness now that their reactions could possibly be of an extremely primitive nature, and they may be capable of only 'animal-like’ noises and reactions, and no or very little recognizable speech. So, watch out! Following this reasoning, approach the subject as you would a wild animal – very gently, talking soothingly and gesturing in a calming manner. Be prepared for sudden wild jerking, or seeming attempts to 'get away.’ And don’t take it personally! At Level Six, this person is totally ga-ga! Be assured, they are enjoying every millisecond of this experience! And a very long period of dreaminess is now in store for them – if their aftercare is handled properly!

So, why do I go on and on about the aftercare? The work of putting endorphins into the subject’s body is finished, right? Well, yes, but you have also succeeded in putting very, very large amounts of adrenalin into their system, and adrenalin is tricky stuff. Even at Level Four, aftercare is important now because of they way adrenalin burns off – it burns off very quickly – compared to endorphins, which burn off very slowly. At Level Five or Level Six, there is enough adrenalin in the body that it will take 10 to 20 minutes for it to burn off (even up to half an hour!), and during this time, the bottom very likely will experience a number of adrenalin 'crashes’ (similar in a way to coffee jags), and some of these can be very intense — and even quite frightening! They will need to be kept warm and be held and comforted AT LEAST throughout this period of adrenalin burn-off. My feeling is that if you don’t care enough for the bottom to enjoy cuddling and caressing with them for up to half an hour, you probably shouldn’t be taking them to any Level Six endorphin/adrenalin levels! (Or even perhaps to a Level Four!)


https://friskybusinessboutique.com/the-endorphin-levels-in-bdsm/

#bdsm #bdsmlife #painandpleasure #sadism #masochism #sadist #masochist #painfulpleasure #sexualsadism #bdsmlifestyle #domination #dominagoldy #bdsmcommunity #bdsmlife #submission


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